Not Good Enough
by CaptainoftheRirenShip
Summary: Shitty birthday present to senpai. Colonel Mustang was a shoulder to cry on, an escape from all the stress in Edward's life. But he was so much more to the older man, which he didn't find out until it was too late. RoyEd and EdWinry. T for language and mentions of mature content. Oneshot.


**ASDFGHJKKL WHAT IS THIS SHIT I'VE CREATED I CAN'T EVEN AUGH KILL ME NOW**

**for Kiri Natsumi-Tetsuya for her birthday if she hasn't killed me for butchering her ship**

**I really fuckin hope they aren't too OOC**

**also this turned kind of dark at some point I planned on hurt-comfort but this just happened and yeah**

* * *

Maybe it was the way he argued with him all the time, maybe it was how determined he was, maybe it was the tough demeanor he gave off when the colonel knew fully well it was the strong act of a scared boy.

All Roy knew was he was ridiculously and irrevocably in love with Edward Elric.

There must have been something there to the other male as well. They weren't a secret thing for nothing. Roy knew he was special in the boy's eyes, to be able to see him in such a vulnerable light, whether they were fucking and the Elric boy was screaming his name to the rafters or he was just looking for a shoulder to cry on and finding it in the usually cocky captain.

He needed a break from Alphonse and his typical generated answers, the teen would insist, still trying to seem tough with tears pricking his eyes or anger making his fists clench. Winry wasn't helpful, and he wasn't close enough to Hawkeye. Who else could he go to? The excuses were pathetic; both males knew it, but Roy ignored it, offering his services to help with whatever Ed wanted or needed, because ever since Edward's challenging him to a fight he'd found himself drawn to the intriguing character.

Their strange little affair had started on Roy's birthday, when he had been teasing Edward about getting him a present. They had nagged and nitpicked at each other as usual, but when Edward finally came out with, "the hell would I get you anyways?" Roy had responded with a cocky, "how about you suck my dick?"

It was no different from their usual dirty jokes and teasing, but for some reason, that time seemed to get to the golden-haired teen. It had taken some time to straighten some things out after that eventful night, but they'd come to the agreement that they were interested in something blossoming between them.

Something indeed. Sometimes Roy felt like their relationship would go about as well as Ed and his brother's quest for the Stone.

It had just started a light sprinkle outside when Edward stormed into the flame alchemist's office, looking hurt and angry. Roy looked over his paperwork in surprise, eyebrows raised. "Good afternoon, Fullmetal. I trust you'll be fixing my door after your little fit?"

"I'm not in the mood," Edward snarled, though he turned and placed his hands on the door briefly, rearranging the broken splinters of wood with alchemy and fixing it before closing and locking the door. "Damn Winry! I just - she never listens, mad woman, I swear -"

"Slow down," Roy ordered, standing and walking around the desk. He cupped Edward's face in his hands, tilting his chin up and making them lock gazes. "What happened?"

Edward blew out a huge angry sigh and allowed himself to be guided to a chair across from the colonel's normal seat. "Why doesn't she get it? I've been trying to tell her for years now that I like her but she always brushes me off before I can tell her! Does she know and she just doesn't want to have to reject me, or is it really just that she can't be bothered to listen to me for two minutes?! Either way, it's annoying!"

Roy felt a pang in his chest. Right. Edward loved Winry. He was pretty damn sure the girl liked him back, too. _She must just be oblivious,_ he thought, returning to his seat, face impassive. He knew he stood no chance, his place in Edward's heart much less important than Winry Rockbell's. But did the older Elric have to be so tactless? It was a painful slap in the face every time he spoke about the love he held for Winry.

"Oi, old man, fix your face."

"You have no right to tell me that, sitting there and stewing." Was it actually clear that he was upset, though? Maybe the small blond was closer to his heart than he thought.

"I'm pissed, what reason do you have for looking like a grump?"

"Do you actually care or are you just being an angry midget?"

"Both. Wait, you son of a-!"

Roy chuckled, leaning back in his chair as Edward went off, still pissed that he always walked into such traps. "It's not important. I was just thinking..." Thinking, like how much longer before Edward and Winry were a thing? How long until he was cast aside, left with no one but his old friend Hawkeye, who wouldn't understand anyways? How long until Edward completely forgot about their little affair while Roy was left all alone, overcome with jealousy and loneliness?

"Hey... thought I told you to fix your face," Edward piped up quietly. He made his to Roy's chair, straddling his lap and carding his fingers through dark hair. "What's wrong with you? Got listening problems?"

Roy was silent for a few moments, placing his hands on the blond's waist and running them up and down his sides. "I know I could never replace Winry. She's too pretty, smart, funny, and overall perfect. Besides, I'm not a woman, and like hell I could bottom." Edward smacked him on the arm for that one, earning a small chuckle. "But, just... when you two finally get together, promise me you'll at least remember this."

Edward furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn't used to Roy being the sensitive one, talking about such deep subjects. Roy was the one to sit there and listen to Edward rant and possibly cry and then fuck him until he couldn't think anymore, couldn't feel. He'd always been dimly aware of something else in the dark-haired man's gaze than lust when he stared down at the panting and exhausted blond, something hidden away when they shared looks in public. Suddenly he felt guilty. Speaking about loving another in front of someone who clearly cared for him. Careless.

"I promise, you sappy old idiot," Edward mumbled, cheeks tinting pink. He'd never been comfortable when it was a romantic moment, not sure how to deal with the tightening in his chest and fluttering in his stomach. Roy smiled, bringing him down for a kiss.

"I'm glad," he whispered.

Even years later, when Roy was standing in for a sick Al as the best man at the marriage of two young and beautiful blondes, neither of them regretted a thing. Roy had never really gotten over it, and the feeling lingered at the edges of Edward's mind, but he was determined to lead a perfect life with his new wife and give her everything he could. Roy respected the new couple, though it brought back feelings full force, making his mind wander back to dark places.

It was no surprise when he turned to drinking, like he did with Hughes's death, and when he was found dead from alcohol poisoning, Edward wasn't all that shocked. But he did find himself mourning the loss of the only one who ever really understood.

* * *

**what even is this I don't know**

**happy late birthday bitch**


End file.
